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Let your child learn about manipulation

News Herald – Juliann Talkington

Juliann

Manipulation is rampant in the digital age. It is easy for young people to be sucked into toxic personal relationships, political and social causes that are fronts for individuals and/or corporations that are attempting to gain power and money, and job situations where bosses or coworkers take advantage of them.

Most parents want to shelter their kids from these situations. Sheltering kids, however, may not be the best strategy. Instead it is better to empower kids, so they are not victims.

First, parents need to make sure their kids are confident, since it is harder for self-confident kids to be manipulated. Self-confidence is earned, not given, so is important to encourage children to explore many things and urge them to continue the activities that they enjoy and do well. In addition, it is essential that they learn the value of hard work. Also, it is imperative that the activities they selected are building self-confidence. Sometimes kids need to change activities as they grow to maintain healthy self-confidence.

The next step is to teach children how to identify a manipulative person, how to keep an emotional distance from such a person, and how to avoid personalization and self-blame. Then children need to learn how to turn the tables by asking probing questions and using time as a delay.

Finally parents need to allow controlled exposure. As counterintuitive as it sounds, kids need exposure to manipulators in safe environments, so they know when someone is trying to control them. In addition, kids need practice disarming a manipulator.

This means parents need to create learning opportunities. For example, a parent could consciously avoid speaking to school officials when a child’s classmate is “mean” on the playground, and instead help their child figure out how to handle situation him/herself. This playground practice should help prepare the child with more insidious manipulation that occurs when he/she is older.

As the child becomes more skilled at detecting and diverting manipulation, parents can gradually provide more exposure. By the time kids reach the teenage years, parents should expect them to discuss absences, homework, performance, and goals with coaches and teachers. In these conversations where will be many opportunities for the child to experience subtle and overt manipulation and to learn ways to remain in control.

Obviously there will be times parents have to step in, especially as when kids beginning interacting with adults, but parents should not be so protective that kids do not have an opportunity to learn.

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Medical X-Press – Kate Lynch

“Recent research has suggested that academic performance, reading ability and IQ have a genetic basis. This reinforces the popular notion that intelligence and related cognitive capacities are somehow “in our genes”. This has led some people to reject the importance of educational interventions on the grounds that spending money on nurture isn’t going to significantly affect the abilities nature has given us. However, genes are not destiny. There is good evidence to show how effective environmental interventions can be for educational outcomes.”(more)

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The Telegraph – Sarah Knapton

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The Sacramento Bee – Sammy Caiola

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Season of Giving: What Are You Getting for the Baby on Your List?

The Huffington Post – Matthew Melmed

“This month marks the beginning of the season of merriment and wonder. It’s a time to be reflective, a time to be with friends and family…And, let’s face it, it’s also a time when we give and receive lots of gifts. While many will buy toys or clothes for the babies and toddlers in our lives, there is another important gift we should be giving: the gift of a strong start…First and foremost, babies and their parents need the gift of time to begin the relationship that teaches babies how the world works and how they are valued…Critical wiring and learning is taking place inside a baby’s brain from day one. Their brains are making trillions of connections — or synapses — during this time. If the inputs they are receiving from their environment while these connections are being made are healthy and positive, good things happen.”(more)