News Herald – Juliann Talkington
The economy is weak and well paying jobs are scarce. Technology has changed the workplace and there is constant pressure to learn new things. In most cases, both parents have to work to meet financial obligations. This requirement means that most parents have to balance intense employment demands with childrearing responsibilities. As a result, it is not surprising that stress among parents is an epidemic and that there are record levels of depression, anxiety, heart disease, and diabetes.
Unfortunately, it is not just the health of the adult that has been impacted by the stress. Parental stress impacts kids. According to Dr. Christine Carter, a University of California Berkeley professor and author, after love and affection, the second most reliable predictor of a child’s well being is the ability of a parent to manage his/her own stress.
High stress has led some parents to adopt unhealthy parenting approaches. One of the most detrimental approaches is helicopter parenting.
Helicopter parents micromanage the lives of their children. Among other things, they ask teachers to change grades, talk to coaches when their child sits on the bench, write papers and conduct science experiments on their child’s behalf, apologize for poor behavior, ask for homework extensions for their child, and make excuses when their child is absent.
Even though most helicopter parents have good intentions, their parenting style can create long-term issues for children. Some of the negative consequences are:
Low self-confidence – Most children of helicopter parents are nervous about making decisions on their own, because they have not had the opportunity to develop proficiency in this area.
Poor coping skills – If a parent is always available to handle or prevent problems, children never learn how to handle disappointment and failure. As a result, the children of helicopter parents are often poorly equipped to deal with the regular stresses of life.
Sense of entitlement – Children who have had their lives adjusted by their parents become accustomed to always having their way. The world does not revolve around anyone, so these children often have difficulty adjusting to workplace expectations.
Inadequate life skills – Parents who always handle household tasks like preparing meals and cleaning bathrooms, after children are capable of handling the tasks, prevent their children from mastering these necessary life skills.
So when you are feeling overwhelmed, ask your kids to do more, not less. It will make you feel less stressed and prepare your children for adult life.