KQED News Mind/Shift – Linda Flanagan
“Doing too much for one’s children is mainly a middle-to-upper-middle-class affliction; children growing up in less privileged communities tend not to suffer from parental overinvolvement. Nevertheless, says former Stanford Dean Julie Lythcott-Haims, who has written a book on the ills of overparenting, the impact on children is serious and long-lasting. “There’s tremendous psychological harm that comes from overparenting,” said Lythcott-Haims. Most damaging to kids is the implied message that they’re not equipped to handle life’s bumps on their own. When parents jump in, remove obstacles, orchestrate play and direct the future, they extinguish a child’s ability to think and act for herself. At Stanford, Lythcott-Haims counseled countless undergraduates who suffered from what she calls “existential impotence” and a lack of self-efficacy. It’s true that some kids will gain a short-term advantage from parental homework help and handholding, she said. However, parents need to realize that over the long term, such interference undermines children’s self-reliance and sense of self.”(more)